Sunday, September 14, 2008

Robert E. Brown. Why I love Philly



So I'm in the Gallery the other day. For those of you not from Philly, the Gallery has nothing to do with art. The Gallery is a three level subterranean mall just blocks from City Hall. It's connected to the convention center and Philly's second largest train hub where all of the regional rail and subways intersect. When they knocked down half of Chinatown in order to build this jewel of commerce, I believe the powers that be thought it would be the cherry on top of the city's urban renewal movement. But sadly there is no affluence to the gallery. Instead it's an underground ghetto fabulous hangout and homeless retreat. Ever been worried about being mugged INSIDE a mall? Come to the Gallery.

But clearly I digress so I'll start again.

So I'm in the Gallery walking through a department store. A realitively nice one. I stop to look at a kitchenwares display. Suddenly I hear someone scream "Oh now this is some bullshit." And I look over and see my Philadelphia beauty queen. That lady you've seen on the bus a thousand times. Obesity squeezed into two sizes too small. She had stepped into a huge wad of bubble gum someone had spit out onto the floor. Freshly chewed gum was stretching out and spreading with every step. She paused for a moment, deciding what to do. As she was contemplating her embattled shoe situation, I contemplated it too. I thought to myself, "Dear god, what kind of a low life just spits a wad of gum into the isle of a department store and-" She solves her dilemma. She pops off the shoe and starts scraping the gum off against the shelves of the display cabinet. This isn't some small penny machine gum here. This is half a pack of warm dirty chewed up Bubblicious and it strings and stretches all over the shelf of the kitchenwares display. I just stared in disbelief. When she had had enough, she turned to me with the shoe clutched in hand.
"Can you believe this shit? She quipped with indignation as she turned to walked away with a one shoe limp.

"No, no I can't."


My Company

No comments: