Part I. Just hit her with the bat.
I was working at a gallery in philadelphia, barely eking by. In passing I told the gallery director that I was thinking about going back into bartending to supplement my income. Just so happened, her son was the new manager at a bar and needed help. This is a true story.About two weeks after I was hired, I came into the bar to start my shift. As I was counting the drawer the manager came over to me with instructions. "Some shit went down today. If One Eye comes in tonight, DO NOT APPROACH HER. Just hit her with the bat." he said.
Obviously I had some questions.
QUESTION ONE: What happened today? Or maybe, why should I hit this woman with the bat?
One Eye had been flagged from the bar for rushing drinks several months earlier. (Rushing drinks is when a rummy grabs your cocktail and tries to slam down as much as possible before you know what's going on.)
The day bartender told One Eye that she wasn't allowed in and she grabbed the nearest rocks glass and bounced it off his head. The manager laughed as he told the story, "So Mike calls me and he says, Uh, my head is pouring blood and she's ran into the kitchen. She's wrapped herself around the drainage pipe under the sink and I can't get her out. What should I do?"
The manager said he instructed him to pry her out with the broom stick. Which I guess he did. Albeit with one hand, since he needed the other to apply pressure to the gapping wound on his head.
Apparently the manager was a little shocked that she had returned. When she was flagged the first time, she had jumped over the bar and began smashing all the bottles of liquor against the wall. The manager and another bartender had wrestled her to the ground, drug her to the door, each holding an arm and a leg, and heave hoed her out the door into the side of a UPS truck.
Either way, I was new, untested, and the other bartender had four stitches from his run in. It was better if I didn't take any chances. He said "Just hit her with the bat."
My Company
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